Where am I?

I was in the cleaning supplies section of Wal-Mart recently when a stranger stopped me and asked, “Can you tell me where I am?” This is one of those rare moments in time that a comedian's heart skips a beat. I very clearly and slowly said, “Wal-Mart.” He said, “No, I mean what area am I in?” I looked at the cleaning supplies on the shelves as my heart skipped another beat. I responded with, “Cleaning supplies.” Finally he clarified his question, asking, “No I mean what TOWN am I in?” I said, “You’re in Anderson, SC.” That’s when I realized he was on the phone the whole time. Isn't it amazing how people completely lose their mind on the phone.

History Lesson

Tonight while helping my 4th grader Katie study for a Social Studies test, we covered the “Shot heard round the world.” We covered which battle it was in, then I asked, “Why was it called the shot heard round the world?” Katie responded with all the confidence, “Cause it was really loud.” I held the papers in front of my face for a moment to gain my composure, then asked, “Do you really think that’s why?” She then said, “Well, it affected lots of other countries in other ways but it had to be really loud!”

Forest Fires

At a rest area along I-81 there’s a sign that reads: “No Open Fires Before 4pm.” What happens AFTER 4pm?