I Didn't Get Shot

I pulled up at a church in a fairly rural area for an evening program. The pastor was running a few minutes late. So I got out and loaded up the hand truck, so I could take in the first load as soon as he got there. I was already running a little later than I was comfortable with because the roads didn’t look that curvy on the map.

The hand truck was loaded when I heard a single gunshot. I used to hunt when I was a kid, so I knew it was a small caliber gun and I knew it was CLOSE!

I thought to myself, “That’s an odd thing to hear in a church parking lot.” That’s when I heard two more gunshots. Bang! Bang!

About that time I saw a guy come out of the woods. He was looking up into the trees across the street from the church. He didn’t have a gun.

“There he is!” the stranger shouted. I looked up from my phone where I was texting a buddy telling him he wasn’t going to believe what was happening. I realized the shots were intended for a single squirrel who was frantically leaping from tree to tree.

“There he is! Shoot ‘em again! Shoot ‘em again!” they shouted. The command was followed by more gunfire. I had determined that this squirrel was BETWEEN me and the unknown gunman. That put me IN the line of fire. I stood behind my car, figuring that TWO windows would slow the bullets down a little before they hit me.

About that time, my phone beeped. It was my buddy, who simply said, “DUCK!” I quickly replied back, “NO! It’s a SQUIRREL!” Isn’t technology great?

The pastor finally arrived, the show went great, and I didn’t get shot. Amen.